2013 has literally been the best and worst year of my life. It started innocently enough* and chugged on that way until the summer where a series of work, life and other stresses hit like a triple whammy of terror.
I’m not going to dwell too much on the bad things here, except to say that I spent several months in a state of high anxiety which really took its toll. People deal with stress in different ways and I retreated inwards, posting less and less and generally being less creative. This became a nasty spiral where I was spending my time dealing with stressful things and feeling too exhausted to do the things that made me feel good.
The one thing that I do want to talk about here is that we moved house. At first this went incredibly smoothly. We got the house ready over an intensive two weeks and (with the superheroic help of family) worked a pretty magical transformation.
We went to Nine Worlds that weekend, and in between bouts of pretending to be a character from Em’s books (and trying to kidnap Paul Cornell**), I got a call from our estate agent saying that we’d sold.
But woe was to follow. Our lender was being incredibly slow processing our mortgage and in the end our mortgage promise turned out to be no such thing and we were let down by them at the eleventh hour, nearly breaking the chain.
Even though I’d banked with this particular lender for over twenty five years, even though I had a perfect credit rating, never missed a payment, already had a bigger mortgage with them than the one I was asking for, they still let us down.
I’m still a bit mystified about this to be honest. But as far as I can tell the answer is that it’s because we’re self-employed and therefore not to be trusted.
I’m a bit of a loyalist at heart and it really upset me that my history with them seemed to count for nothing. It also upset me that the mortgage promise (which we’d got before making any offers on new houses), seemed to count for nothing. I was left feeling judged, undervalued and generally shat upon.
Eventually we found a solution and moved in early November. Things ever since have passed in a blur of decorating, work, and getting ready for Christmas.
A month and a half later life couldn’t be more different. My other stresses appear to have resolved themselves. I’m in a new house, which I love and I have an agent. I still struggle to articulate what that means to me***.
I don’t believe in karma but it was a bit like the universe noticed there’d been a serious imbalance and then threw good things at me all through December to make up for the previous six months.
We hosted Christmas this year. Em put the last licks of paint on the dining room on the 23rd of December and then we were cooking like mad things until Christmas lunchtime. But it was one of the best Christmases ever. The Bean was wonderful, a true delight and it was great to be able to thank family who have been incredible all through the moving process. I liked having it at my house too. It already feels like home.
So I look back not sure how I feel about the year. I met some great people, did some cool things, and learnt a lot, worried a lot, probably shaved a few years of my life.
I can’t quite believe it’s all happened in the same year.
Still, right now, things are good. Better than they’ve been in a long time, actually, and life seems full of promise. I’m really looking forward to taking the good bits of 2013 and taking them with me into 2014. But more on that in another post!
*And I started writing Tea and Jeopardy with Em, which was/is great fun!
**I failed. Curse those Split World players!
***But I’d be delighted to try, should I meet any of you in a pub sometime 😀